It was a hot, dry, airy day outside. But, of course, my office was cool as usual, thanks to the small forest behind it that kept the room cool, even though it wasn’t air-conditioned, and the door always stayed open.

The lawyer walked in with a young woman who looked tattered, though this did not hide her immense beauty. For the sake of privacy, I will call her Winpoka, though that is not her real name.

“I need you to help this woman,” the lawyer said to me. He went on to explain that she had lost her husband and all her belongings in a fire that gutted their home. She had nothing to wear, and her situation was dire. While they were working to secure her late husband’s benefits, she needed immediate social support.

Without delay, I called my colleagues, and together, we gathered clothes from donations and some food supplies for her.

At the time, Winpoka had two children, the youngest being a toddler. On her next visit, we had a deeper conversation, as we usually do with all widows who come to our office. The main plan was for Winpoka to begin trading with the capital she would receive, which would help her feed her children, keep them in school, and gradually rebuild her life.

Like many widows, it was clear that Winpoka didn’t have the luxury of grieving. She had to reset her life, learn to earn a living, and become the household’s sole breadwinner—a role her income had only supplemented before her husband’s death.

The expectation placed on her was overwhelming but not rare. Despite her best efforts, the odds were against her. She eventually sought an easier way out by remarrying, hoping her new husband would provide some support. This, however, turned out to be a mirage. After she became pregnant, the new man decided there was no point in continuing the “campaign” now that the “election” had been won.

It’s likely he saw an opportunity to benefit from her late husband’s benefits, which she had just received. But this money didn’t last long. Her father demanded she pay her own dowry—a dowry her late husband had never fulfilled, as custom required. The dowry, consisting of three to four cows, had to be paid. Otherwise, her children would not be recognized as her late husband’s, according to tradition.

Winpoka used part of the money to construct a modest house for herself and her children, and the rest went to her father for the dowry. Once again, she was left penniless.

Eventually, her new husband saw her as a burden he wasn’t willing to bear, and the relationship ended.

Her hardships worsened after the birth of her third child, as she now had three mouths to feed with no support. When the marriage ended, she returned to the office seeking more capital to restart her trade.

Having learned from her experiences, she approached her trade with renewed determination. But unknown to her, her eldest daughter, a sixth grader, was being sexually assaulted. The truth came to light when the girl resisted one day and was beaten, leaving her with visible bruises.

The case was reported and taken to court. However, while the wheels of justice grind slowly, for the poor, they often halt entirely, grind sporadically, or are clogged by bureaucracies, extortion, and the lack of commitment from some of those entrusted to protect them.

Winpoka’s daughter for five months endured bloody discharges but could not access treatment because her mother couldn’t afford it. Thankfully, she returned to the Widows and Orphans Movement (WOM) for help. With our support, her daughter is now doing much better. We continue to pray that this beautiful girl receives counseling and can live a fulfilling life going forward.

Winpoka’s story is just one among the countless everyday struggles widows face. The state, community, and family failed both Winpoka and her daughter, and we should all be ashamed.

We must do better. We must condemn social norms and practices that undermine the rights and welfare of people. We must also commit to the work we do because our actions—or inactions—have real-life consequences.

The state must provide holistic support to victims of abuse. 

Next time you’re tempted to act wrongfully, remember what goes around comes around.

• • Written by Fati Abigail Abdulai Executive Director-Widows and Orphans Movement LBG (WOM)